Zendaya

For anyone who feels the need to hate, just know I’m looking at my phone like #GirlBye!

My number one thing is that it doesn’t just happen. You shouldn’t feel discouraged if you’re not waking up and feeling amazing about yourself. That’s not necessarily how it works. It doesn’t take one shopping spree to give you that confidence. It’s a developing process. Everyone goes at their own speed… As long as you take every opportunity to learn more about yourself and fall more in love with yourself every day, you’re doing good.

I’m a chocolate addict!

A feminist is a person who believes in the power of women just as much as they believe in the power of anyone else. It’s equality, it’s fairness, and I think it’s a great thing to be a part of.

I’m one of those people who doesn’t follow trends. I set them.

You don’t have to be older to live your dreams, you can do it at any age.

Even with my wife, I see her as a representation, as a Marie Antoinette of our time.

In the last series, we set up a church [to expose televangelists and the ease of avoiding tax through establishing a religious organisation]. It took a lot of legal advice and months of gathering correspondence with one pastor. In terms of the UK, I’m not sure what the Inland Revenue’s position on churches is. The IRS is very much of the opinion that all churches, whatever their form, operate tax free. How would I make sense of what we achieved? We achieved nothing! We achieved $70,000 in single [donations], a four-foot wooden penis and five vials of human sperm. Although a lot of people would consider that a decent year’s work, I suppose. It’s a pretty impressive room full of tat.

That’s right, it was a boy. And finally, we have a member of the royal family with an actual excuse for being a toothless, petulant, useless human being…That one could get me into trouble back home.

[on “Pleasantville”] We were thrilled for just the three nominations we got, but obviously it’s a little sad. I went through so many press junkets with people saying they loved it. And Joan Allen was robbed but she can’t get nominated every year. She’s an inspiration for every young actress. She has that calm and reserve about herself and makes you think she appreciates the normal things of everyday. Then she transforms into this character that’s so different.

That was me under the bath and the water being held down. The director wanted it to look as real as possible so he told Keanu, in front of me, don’t go easy on her. So it was scary.

A man becomes as attractive as an attractive woman when he becomes successful and is publicly noted. Power’s an aphrodisiac.

I’m married, you know. I love my husband and I have a child.

We often read transcripts of Trump’s speeches, and it’s something that everyone should actually do once in a while. When you strip away his blindingly confident delivery and just read his words, it is staggering how incoherent he is.

I closed my eyes, held my breath and then everything went black.

I get more people approaching me about how good I was in ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ than being in Coldplay.

The crime rates among immigrants once [in the United States] are in relatively tiny digits, which is something Donald Trump should frankly understand given that he has ten of them attached to his miniscule wrists.

I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other.

Trying to be a leader in a sort of very atypical workplace like ‘Saturday Night Live’ forces you to realize that no one wants you to be their leader. If you can help them get their thing on TV or whatever, they want that. But no adult is looking for a role model.

As a 29-year-old, the only thing that I can possibly think is that if I’m still performing at 50, it’s because I’ll have had disastrous marriages and I have to pay for them.

There’s no point regretting things. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. Life’s too short to worry about things I’ve said.