Tina Fey

When it’s not your gig, you’re like, ‘I’m just gonna go to bed!’

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

I don’t enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don’t have that kind of ‘I love the bad guys’ thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.

When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: ‘Is this person in between me and what I want to do?’ If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? I’m not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I’m just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I’d like to cut your chest open. The crowd cheers.

Gravity is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.

I have three closets in my bedroom.

I feel like there’s a race being run in Los Angeles for some unattainable goal – to be the best, the skinniest, the most beautiful. I just admit that that’s what I’ll never be.

I’ve been gone for a long time. I really want to give the fans something that they deserve to have. So, I’m working really hard on this. I really want to make it the best work I’ve done so far.

It sounds lame, but I was really concentrating on this job. It was my first American thing so I was pretty focused. I went to Portland for two months before we starting shooting, and I just didn’t talk to anybody for ages during the beginning of the shoot. I never went out, but I kind of broke down half way through. I was like, ‘Okay, people are starting to think that I’m actually out of my mind now.

I’m not a musician, I’m an entertainer.

I’m a woman now.

I’m really an outdoorsy girl. People think I can’t go anywhere without getting all primped up, but I love to go camping, and I’m totally fine with not doing my hair or makeup, not taking a shower and just hiking.

You just have to play every scene honestly and forget about a reaction and what the audience is going to think. I think the more seriously you take something, the more funny it might be.

I believe that in life you should always take the serious things lightly and the light things seriously. This attitude of mine gets me into a lot of trouble.

Because sex is like boxing, if one of the parties didn’t agree to participate, the other one is committing a crime.

I usually don’t listen back to the shows but I finally did. Now I know the one thing that’s gonna make it even better than it already is!

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.

I try to keep my ego at the right size. No matter what, I just do my best to live in an attitude of gratitude.

[On struggling to be taken seriously in the industry] Even now, people want to marginalize me. They want to attribute all my success to teenagers seeing my movies. I really resent it when people say, “It’s just a genre film; it’s a teen comedy.” It takes a lot of work to make these things have heart and resonance so they’re not just empty, disposable confections. But I don’t give a damn about other people’s perceptions, because I’ll show them. For women in this business, ascendancy is always a battle. It’s scrape and claw. I just try to stick to my guns and respect myself. I want to take the ingenues aside and say, “Value yourself! It’s O.K. if you have opinions!

I sort of identify with him (Cedric) in a couple of ways. Generally, I am quite pleasant. I think he is too, and I think that is one of the basic similarities. Let’s see, I’ve got blond hair, I am relatively sporty. But, I think he is a better person than me.