Tina Fey

The difference between male comedy writers and female comedy writers is that the male ones are taller and weigh more.

[Feminism] means that you believe in the equality of the sexes in every way.

I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.

I’m more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I’m mostly an improviser, though I haven’t improvised in awhile.

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

Sometimes people expect that I’m going to be tough. It’s not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time.

I think Daniel (Radcliffe)’s… just so far superior to me in terms of desirability, so he didn’t really have much of a competition with me. If I were Katie, I would definitely go out with him because he’s rich and famous, and I’m not really!

[on accepting his CBE] I owe everything to the musicians I work with. From the UK to Africa to Tennessee, it is their brilliance that I bounce off. Alone I’m nothing.

[On roles resembling the title character in ‘Penelope’] I like this girl because she is a bit of a bad-ass. I grew up watching movies with people like Barbara Stanwyck, and sometimes I get frustrated that there aren’t a lot of great female characters out there that young women can look at and go, ‘I want to be like that’. I go to movies and yell at the women on-screen, ‘Shoot him; just shoot him.’ I mean, why why does the guy always have to shoot him?

There is no diet for a big ego.

Well, once we finish something, I can’t really listen to it because all I hear are problems.

I can’t say I was. I wasn’t not a (Harry Porter) fan. I hadn’t read any of the books or anything. I read The Goblet of Fire when I was doing the other film, and I really liked that. I got through it in about two days. I’d say I’m a pretty big fan now.

No wedding bells for me anymore. I’ve been happily married to my profession for years.

That is not a functional use of language. That is a drunk driver crashing a pickup truck full of alphabet soup.

This Velvet Mafia thing is just another homophobic, nasty kind of thing that jealous queens make up.

I like listening to good music – and I can’t stop playing my album.

Girls are a distraction and can easily cost points.

I like you baby, just not more than my work right now

I’m not a mean person, but I have a capacity for it.

I’ve been using the fan websites as I was acting it, because they know so much about the books, and it’s really helpful as a resource.

The second I met Zac, I thought he was a really cool guy. It’s hard not to have chemistry with someone who is so attractive.