Susan Scarf Merrell

I want my sons to grow up in a world where they’d never think boys are better than girls or that black is better than white.

I didn’t want to disrespect my parents, so I never played blues around the house. But I knew then, same as I know today, that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I think that before they died, they both felt very proud of me.

It’s incredible watching my son grow up and learn to read, discover the world and test boundaries. Being a mum is the greatest joy of my life, definitely.

My daughter hasn’t seen me with anybody in five years. I’m very, very selective when it comes to that because I want to make sure that it’s real. I don’t want her to see me with just anybody because she means everything to me.

Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there.

I have to be in tune with my husband, where he is, how he’s feeling. I have to be in tune with where my family is. The same thing is true in the work that I do. It’s all about me feeling where people are. So that’s why I try to be really present, even when I’m on a rope line. I never take for granted my interactions with people. And it’s never black-and-white. I’m usually reading the crowd, reading the people that I’m with. I guess if this role has changed me, it’s improved my ability to do that. I’ve gotten better at sensing where people are at any given time.

People say: “Oh yeah, jobs for the boys”. I wish. You’ve got to fight even harder with a family like mine.

Growing up, I was taught that a man has to defend his family. When the wolf is trying to get in, you gotta stand in the doorway. He has to get through you first before he gets into the house to get your family. I’m one of those guys who wants to be in that door.

The debt of gratitude we owe our mother and father goes forward, not backward. What we owe our parents is the bill presented to us by our children.

Nobody loves me but my mother – And she could be jivin’, too.

There was a lot of charm in just living in a big family compound of a house. My two uncles, who were into jazz, lived in the basement, and one of them, Uncle Peter, taught me my first songs on the ukulele.

I am indebted to my father for living, but to my teacher for living well.

My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.

I’ve always wanted to be a mom at 23, 24ish, ever since I was a little girl. I’m right on schedule.