Robert Plant

There’s not a lot of towns that I can go to and take family – too many incongruous knocks on doors – “Hello, honey. Have you missed me?”

People have got to let their bodies breathe a little bit more. That’s the great thing about being a pompous, jumped-up rock god. There’s plenty of air around you.

No, I’ve never thought that I was gay. And that’s not something you think. It’s something you know.

I don’t have a recollection of mostly anybody I’ve hung out with.

You know, people can’t fall in love with me just because I’m good at what I do.

I don’t want to be stuck in the ’70s or the ’80s. I just keep moving. That’s my intention. That’s my stimulus. Otherwise, I’d be at home doing the garden.

The difference between male comedy writers and female comedy writers is that the male ones are taller and weigh more.

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, ‘Hey, check out my zit!’ – you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to.

[On strange stories written about him] Recently a magazine had on the cover that I was pregnant. I was just like, “Wow!” It was without a hint of irony. I didn’t know what to make of that one. I saw a couple of comments under the article saying, “That’s why he always wears jackets. He always wears layers to hide it.

I decided I am not going to say things I do not mean anymore.

For some reason, I like seeing people feel emotional.

[on the death of Stan Lee] I owe it all to you, Rest in Peace Stan

Husbands are like fires – they go out when unattended.

I think some fans want everything to stay they same because they want to stay the same.

[To a psychedelic rock sextet call Strawberry Alarm Clock] We’re going to get you six Ed Sullivan shows and we’re going to get you on Janis Joplin’s next tour. [After the meeting on being told by Schiffman ‘David, what are you doing? Six Ed Sullivan shows? Are you kidding? Janis Joplin wouldn’t piss on these people! We are not going to give them any Janis Joplin dates’] If they have another hit, we’ll get them one Ed Sullivan show, and we’ll get them a couple of dates on somebody else’s tour. I don’t care. And if they don’t have another hit, well, f*ck ’em.

I don’t fit the mold. In this country, success usually happens when you are 22 and six feet tall. Clearly, by asking that question they are kind of letting me know that I am an aberration.

You don’t worry about being liked. You have to be yourself.

Ryan and I didn’t grow up like this at all, with this much attention. We’ll just try to keep their feet on the ground and raise them with the values we were raised with.

I don’t really like to go out very much. I’m not scandalous. I’m not, like, in this to be famous. I also find it so embarrassing when you read about people and it’s like they were so trashed at Skybar and stumbling around. I don’t want to be that person. That’s just so embarrassing to have that written about you.

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

We all have a childhood dream that when there is love, everything goes like silk, but the reality is that marriage requires a lot of compromise.