Robert Plant

If you’re a singer, you can never say this is where the voyage ends, the job is never done. Once you have got it, you cannot sit on it. I have to try and change the landscape, whatever it is. I have to find a new place to ply my trade, to get lost in another place, and locate myself again. I’m an older man now and so it’s even more important.

This is what I’ve learned about women: A guy’s walking down the street and he kicks a Coke can, and out comes a genie, and the genie says: “I will grant you one wish.” The guy says, “I don’t need anything. I’m happy. I play tennis. I sing in a rock group. But there is just one thing. I want to go to Florida and I hate flying. Can you build me a bridge from London to Miami?” And the genie scratches his head and says, “I don’t think I can do that. That’s a bit too much.” So the guy says, “Wait a minute: women. Can you explain the ways of a woman’s mind?” And the genie looks at him and says, “About that bridge. Do you want a handrail and lights?” It’s a handrail and lights, man. Whenever there’s trouble with women we all go, “Just give me the bridge.” It’s much easier.

I can’t moan about any of it. I had a great time in the goldfish bowl.

The whole idea of music, from the beginning of time, was for people to be happy.

I don’t think I’ve aged gracefully.

I’m a restless guy who’s happy to be restless. I find that I’m always inquiring and I’m always in the middle of new situations. It’s just life experience, I guess. But I’ve been around quite a while.

[on the MTV movie awards] Ryan was whispering in my ear as we’re winning the award. He’s like, ‘You go that way, I’ll go this way, and we’ll meet in the middle. I was like, ‘What?!? You better not chicken out or I’ll kill you!’ It was fun.

You haven’t been around here long, have you.

I am sarcastic and dry, but I also have a pretty huge zest for life.

When was the last time you saw a musical about people at war with each other?

I was bored one day so my Dad took me to this acting school. I liked it more than having fun – I liked it for a job.

Music is all I know.

It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.

I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

I love hearing educated people talk and just shut everyone up. Knowledge is always the loudest voice.

If guys don’t respect themselves, they don’t respect other people. That’s times and personalities. And all of them are not that way. But it don’t take but one or two to screw up the whole crowd.

What was the competition? Well, I remember this Puerto Rican who came out in a short skirt and a gun.

My mum and my dad are the sweetest couple.

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

I sort of identify with him (Cedric) in a couple of ways. Generally, I am quite pleasant. I think he is too, and I think that is one of the basic similarities. Let’s see, I’ve got blond hair, I am relatively sporty. But, I think he is a better person than me.

The weird thing is, when Darrell Hammond or Will Ferrell or Dana Carvey did an impersonation of a president, no one assumed it was personal, but because Sarah Palin and I are both women and people think women are meaner to each other, everyone assumed it was personal.