Mark Twain

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.

If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.

If you don’t like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious – except he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by force.

Learn to say “I don’t know.” If used when appropriate, it will be often.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

There is no rule more invariable than that we are paid for our suspicions by finding what we suspect.

The thought of two thousand people crunching celery at the same time horrified me.

Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm and constant.

The broadest and most prevalent error requires the most disinterested virtue to sustain it.

All theory is against freedom of the will; all experience for it.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it!

In the morning a man walks with his whole body; in the evening, only with his legs.

Nothing is more important than reconnecting with your bliss. Nothing is as rich. Nothing is more real.

The love of economy is the root of all virtue.

Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.

What makes life dreary is the want of a motive.

A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before.