Mark Twain

I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.

I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Duties are not performed for duty’s sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty -the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.

It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives. The act of dying is not of importance, it lasts so short a time.

So far is it from being true that men are naturally equal, that no two people can be half an hour together, but one shall acquire an evident superiority over the other.

We are all alike, on the inside.

Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet.

I would be loath to speak ill of any person who I do not know deserves it, but I am afraid he is an attorney.

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.

No just cause is futile, even if it’s lost, if it helps make the future better than the past.

It is possible to be free and loving no matter what your circumstances.

There is, indeed, nothing that so much seduces reason from vigilance, as the thought of passing life with an amiable woman.

Self-sacrifice is the real miracle out of which all the reported miracles grow.

Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.

In spite of his practical ability, some of his experience had petrified into maxims and quotations.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

The secret of culture is to learn, that a few great points steadily reappear.

Nature hates calculators.