Mark Twain

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

It is at our mother’s knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals, but there is seldom any money in them.

Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.

We Americans… bear the ark of liberties of the world.

Justice though moving with tardy pace, has seldom failed to overtake the wicked in their flight.

The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.

A wise man makes what he learns his own, the other shows he is but a copy or a collection at most.

You cannot have power for good without having power for evil too. Even mother’s milk nourishes murderers as well as heroes.

I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.

Labor, if it were not necessary for existence, would be indispensable for the happiness of man.

Pale death with an impartial foot knocks at the hovels of the poor and the palaces of king.

One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else.

Here is the answer which I will give to President Roosevelt. Give us the tools, and we will finish the job.

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Hate has caused a lot of problems in this world, but it has not solved one yet.

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials.

I’m like a starving man who has been given food. Maybe he’s cold, and his clothes are torn, and he’s ashamed, but he’s not unhappy.