Mark Twain

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that make horseraces.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

The way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.

There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

It is only through labour and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage; that we move on to better things.

Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts.

Wisdom is better than silver and gold. I was hopeless, now I’m on hope road.

The more you know, the less you need.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.

If we had more time for discussion we should probably have made a great many more mistakes.

There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus.

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Ready are you? What know you of ready?

What makes all doctrines plain and clear? About two hundred pounds a year. And that which was proved true before, prove false again? Two hundred more.

Today is Trinity Sunday. Centuries ago words were written to be a call and a spur to the faithful servants of Truth and Justice: Arm yourselves, and be ye men of valor, and be in readiness for the conflict; for it is better for us to perish in battle than to look upon the outrage of our nation and our altar. As the Will of God is in Heaven, even so let it be.

Suspicion is most often useless pain.

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.