Mark Twain

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won’t sit upon a cold stove lid, either.

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.

Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.

If you live for people’s acceptance, you’ll die from their rejections.

To say that a man is your Friend, means commonly no more than this, that he is not your enemy. Most contemplate only what would be the accidental and trifling advantages of Friendship, as that the Friend can assist in time of need by his substance, or his influence, or his counsel. Even the utmost goodwill and harmony and practical kindness are not sufficient for Friendship, for Friends do not live in harmony merely, as some say, but in melody.

I hate mankind, for I think of myself as one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.

What is the matter with the poor is poverty; what is the matter with the rich is uselessness.

Our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed by them.

Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.

There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.

Prejudice not being funded on reason cannot be removed by argument.

I was brought up to hate and fear liberty. I came to love it. That is the secret of my whole career.

Words will not fail when the matter is well considered.

Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.

Believe nothing against another but on good authority; and never report what may hurt another, unless it be a greater hurt to some other to conceal it.

It is impossible for a man to be cheated by anyone but himself.