Mark Twain

Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.

So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.

Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we examine closely we find that this standard is a very simple one, and is this: we admire them, we envy them, for great qualities we ourselves lack. Hero worship consists in just that. Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do. We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It’s like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won’t fatten the dog.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

Revolutions are always verbose.

How lovely the little river is, with its dark changing wavelets! It seems to me like a living companion while I wander along the bank, and listen to its low, placid voice…

The egoism which enters into our theories does not affect their sincerity; rather, the more our egoism is satisfied, the more robust is our belief.

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

It is easy – terribly easy – to shake a man’s faith in himself. To take advantage of that to break a man’s spirit is devil’s work.

Our virtues are dearer to us the more we have had to suffer for them. It is the same with our children. All profound affection entertains a sacrifice. Our thoughts are often worse than we are, just as they are often better.

It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses we must plant more trees.

Death is the king of this world: ‘Tis his park where he breeds life to feed him. Cries of pain are music for his banquet.

There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published opinion.

Whatever the human law may be, neither an individual nor a nation can commit the least act of injustice against the obscurest individual without having to pay the penalty for it.

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry.

In every author let us distinguish the man from his works.

Humility and knowledge in poor clothes excel pride and ignorance in costly attire.

Men are born to succeed, not to fail.

The chief glory of every people arises from its authors.