I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays.
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
More quotes about Faith
Mind your thoughts, as they become your words. Mind your words, as they become your actions. Mind your actions, as they become you.
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
I’ve been up the mountain and I had a choice. Should I come down? So I came down. God said, Okay, you’ve been up on the mountain, now you go down. You’re on your own, free. Check in later, but now you’re on your own.
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
Jesus tapped me on the shoulder and said, Bob, why are you resisting me? I said, I’m not resisting you! He said, You gonna follow me? I said, I’ve never thought about that before! He said, When you’re not following me, you’re resisting me.
A mind committed to compassion is like an overflowing reservoir – a constant source of energy, determination and kindness.
Christ: I dislike him very much. Still, I can stand him. What I cannot stand is the wretched band of people whose profession is to hoodwink us about him.