Ambrose Bierce

Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

Scriptures, n.: The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

Faith, n.: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

The secret of life is to validate your existence.

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

The more you know, the more you realise how much you don’t know — the less you know, the more you think you know.

Man minus the Machine is a slave; Man plus the Machine is a freeman.

Life is a helluva lot more fun if you say yes rather than no.

The universe, at any given point, in any given time, is expanding indefinitely in all directions. So trust me when I say, ‘you are the center of mine.’

Four women have helped me: mother, sister, mother-in-law and wife.

There is no mistake in nature.

Don’t go through life, GROW through life.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

You are the daydream I am supposed to have for the rest of my life.

When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong– or absolutely right.

I don’t like to read books. They muss up my mind.

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

I love the beach. I love the sea. All my life I live within – in front of the sea.