I read while the kids play. I can see them from the kitchen window. And I’m a fast reader.
Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
He was going to make it. He had a passion for driving a car … Adam was never interested in anything else.
More idiots should just shut their mouths.
The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.
I’m a lot taller than I look on television and younger, and for the role of David Brent I wore a fat suit under my shirt and trousers. Really I’m about 25 and about 6′ 1 tall. So that’s probably why you don’t recognize me in the street.
I can’t tell you an answer to that (question on the meaning of life). I can just say live it, be kind, do your best, don’t hurt anybody, and don’t fake orgasms. From a man’s viewpoint, that’s pretty impossible.
Maybe it’s because I’m English, but in terms of how people perceive us I only pick up on the negative side of it.
Welcome to The Daily Show, I am John Oliver. And let’s just acknowledge for a moment that this is weird. This looks weird. It feels weird. It even sounds weird. It sounds weird to me and this is my actual voice.
I think if Keith Moon was here today and you asked him to recall most of his early life or most of his life, he wouldn’t be able to recall it.
I do think things were meant to happen. I’m just this little girl from Tennessee, and here I am today. I think a lot of things are just out of your hands.
But I like to listen to demos. I like to hear the finished product. It’s like listening to a song – I mean, a story. If you’re going to sit here and tell me a story, I just like to listen. I don’t want to make them up.
I never thought that I would have a career in show business
Any single part of Brexit is a mountainous task and that is before you get to the tiny little bits that you understand that we haven’t even thought might be a problem. John Oliver
People find out I’m an actress and I see that ‘whore’ look flicker across their eyes.
If I wasn’t Bob Dylan, I’d probably think that Bob Dylan has a lot of answers myself.
There are so many different definitions of pretty.’ it’s so much broader than before. The old pretty is boring- nobody cares anymore.
It’s when someone has an agenda of their own for the record that it doesn’t work for me.
I’ve sort of heard that “it” girl thing, but not really. Hearing it from a few people doesn’t solidify it in my mind and I wouldn’t know how to solidify that title. It’s so elusive and what does it mean, I don’t know?
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?
[reacting to George Zimmerman’s acquittal] I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.
