Mark Twain

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.

The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman’s construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse with the other sex sexually, at any time of life. During twenty-three days in every month (in the absence of pregnancy) from the time a woman is seven years old till she dies of old age, she is ready for action, and competent. As competent as the candlestick is to receive the candle. Competent every day, competent every night. Also, she wants that candle – yearns for it, longs for it, hankers after it, as commanded by the law of God in her heart.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

No crime is so great as daring to excel.

Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.

What you can’t pay back you pay forward.

He is a modest little man who has a good deal to be modest about.

We are a puny and fickle folk. Avarice, hesitation, and following are our diseases.

How could a man be satisfied with a decision between such alternatives and under such circumstances? No more than he can be satisfied with his hat, which he’s chosen from among such shapes as the resources of the age offer him, wearing it at best with a resignation which is chiefly supported by comparison.

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore there be any kindness I can show…let me do it now.- William Penn

Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.

Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.

Syllables govern the world.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one – keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

There is not human being from whom we cannot learn something if we are interested enough to dig deep.

Our high respect for a well read person is praise enough for literature.

Knowledge is the treasure, but judgment is the treasurer of the one who is wise.