Tina Fey

If I have to listen to one more grey faced man with a $2 hair cut explain to me what rape is, I’m going to lose my mind.

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, ‘Hey, check out my zit!’ – you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to.

I have Faith Popcorn on retainer. I’m sorry-what I meant to say is that I have popcorn stuck in my retainer.

We’re all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn’t let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn’t let us watch ‘The Flintstones’ if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of ‘The Honeymooners’. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old ‘Honeymooners’.

I’m not a mean person, but I have a capacity for it. I have the biting comment formed somewhere in the back of my head – like it’s in captivity. Sometimes people expect that I’m going to be tough. It’s not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time.

I would say that one of your greatest accomplishments, Amy Poehler, is that you have so successfully used your art and comedy as a source of positivity in the world, by creating Smart Girls [an online community for girls, encouraging them to be their authentic selves], by making [Leslie in] Parks and Rec not only a positive feminist character but creating a good-hearted worldview within that program.

It may not be the best in someone else’s eyes, but it’s the best I can do.

Obviously, [Hollywood is lacking] stories from women of color. If you talk about areas of the industry that are underrepresented, that is an area that the whole industry could stand with getting better at.

If The Beatles or the 60’s had a message, it was ‘Learn to swim. And once you’ve learned – swim!’

You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!

So when you get a chance to look at things and chill and relax, it makes you want it more, and that’s why I’m so happy to be back!

I’m very outspoken. I will ask a silly question, but I really am deadly serious. I want to know the answer.

The past is a stepping stone, not a millstone.

I hate that the paparazzi agencies get all of the fan accounts shut down! Ugh we have to think of something! Maybe start our own agency? And let all of the fans post whatever tf they want!!!!!

British politics, when done well, can be very fun. John Oliver

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.

Who on Barbie D? Who on Barbie D?

There is no doubt about precisely when folks began racing each other in automobiles. It was the day they built the second automobile.

I sleep with my baby blanket, Kiki, that my nana made for me.

It’s sort of a feeling of power onstage. It’s really the ability to make people smile, or just to turn them one way or another for that duration of time, and for it to have some effect later on. I don’t really think it’s power… it’s the goodness.

We need to stop talking about whether women are funny. And we need to acknowledge that black people are funnier than white people. Let’s discuss that.