Mark Twain

We have not all had the good fortune to be ladies. We have not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground.

The billiard table is better than the doctor.

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious – except he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by force.

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

There are two types of speakers, those that are nervous and those that are liars.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.

There ain’t no freedom when you’ve got a worrying mind.

Do not fear your enemies. The worst they can do is kill you. Do not fear friends. At worst, they may betray you. Fear those who do not care; they neither kill nor betray, but betrayal and murder exists because of their silent consent.

A man must live like a great brilliant flame and burn as brightly as he can. In the end he burns out. But this is far better than a mean little flame.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

I beg you take courage; the brave soul can mend even disaster.

If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that’s his problem. Love and peace are eternal.

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears.

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say

You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

I’m the one that has to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.

I share no man’s opinions; I have my own.

You must learn that you do not have to be angry just because you have the right to be.

It doesn’t matter how long my hair is or what colour my skin is or whether I’m a woman or a man.

The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution.