Tina Fey

I dreamed of being an actress when I was a little kid because you don’t know then that the writer writes everything the actor is saying. But as I got older, I got into college and became more aware that writing is another option, and I started getting into it, too.

Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.

After college, I knew I wanted to work in comedy, so the first thing I did was go to where the comedy was. I moved from Charlottesville to Chicago, because that’s where The Second City and Improv Olympics are. You have to go wherever you need to go to study what interests you.

And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women – except, of course -those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape ‘kit ‘n’ stuff, But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years – whatever. But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know – actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster.

At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.

I was wearing my best gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians. So yea, I was pretty cool.

The music industry is a strange combination of having real and intangible assets: pop bands are brand names in themselves, and at a given stage in their careers their name alone can practically gaurantee hit records.

There have been people I’ve warmed to over the years but, as the situation I’m in is so fleeting and transient, I’ve always known it’s going to be over kind of real quick.

Basically you have to suppress your own ambitions in order to be who you need to be.

The goal is to try and make the perfect song. Which of course will never happen.

In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, ‘People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea’.

I have two daughters, and we live here in Manhattan, and having gone through the Manhattan kindergarten application process, nothing will ever rival the stress of that.

I think it’s the way I talk. I think they thought I was too country. And I’m not ashamed of that by any means.

I really admire stand-up, and I think I would have loved to learn how to do it. I think it’s terrifying and thrilling. A really cool thing to do. It’s a dying art, in a way.

I’m just a regular girl. Some days I’m super strong; some days I’m super insecure. I just speak my truth and if people like it, they like it, and if they bash it, they bash it.

Relax, stop overdoing it, and just breathe for a second.

Since I started acting it’s kind of been a bit mad. I never really did anything before and two years ago I started acting and I’ve kind of been in work ever since. Then Harry Potter came along and it’s been a huge step and a massive event in my life.

Just tried watching Modern Family – written by a moron, really boring. Writer has the mind of a very dumb and backward child. Sorry Danny!

Optimism is nice if you can swing it. But you’ve got to be careful, because it can feed into the normalization of Donald Trump. And he is not normal. He’s abnormal. He’s a human What is wrong with this picture?

Kyle saw the things he didn’t accomplish but he could help Adam accomplish.

Part of the early Who career was all about knocking people’s confidences out.