Samuel Butler

Heaven is the work of the best and kindest men and women. Hell is the work of prigs, pedants and professional truth-tellers. The world is an attempt to make the best of Heaven and Hell.

Priests are not men of the world; it is not intended that they should be; and a University training is the one best adapted to prevent their becoming so.

Logic is like the sword

Science, after all, is only an expression for our ignorance of our own ignorance.

Though wisdom cannot be gotten for gold, still less can be gotten without it.

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

Friends are true Twins in Soul; they Sympathize in every thing, and have the Love and Aversion. One is not happy without the other, nor can either of them be miserable alone. As if they could change Bodies, they take their turns in Pain as well as in Pleasure; relieving one another in their most adverse Conditions.What one enjoys, the other cannot Want. Like the Primitive Christians, they have all things in common, and no Property but in one another.

A good and faithful judge ever prefers the honorable to the expedient.

Bad times have a scientific value. These are occasions a good learner would not miss.

The blaze of reputation cannot be blown out, but it often dies in the socket; a very few names may be considered as perpetual lamps that shine unconsumed.

It is a happy talent to know how to play.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.

My emancipation don’t fit your equation.

Talent is commonly developed at the expense of character.

Men’s men: gentle or simple, they’re much of a muchness.

Look before you leap for as you sow, ye are like to reap.

The dice of God are always loaded.

The disgrace of others often keeps tender minds from vice.

Let your family, staff, and friends know that you’re still the same person, despite all the publicity and notoriety that accompanies your position.