Michelle Obama

The times when Barack and I are at our most relaxed are when we invite some friends over who we have known forever. And you put a little music on top of that? Some good food? It renews your spirit to get back in the game.

Failure is an important part of your growth and developing resilience. Don’t be afraid to fail.

My number one daily habit is to give myself permission to be happy. It’s physical and mental; it’s my diet, physical activity, and emotional state. That’s all tied together.

Find people who will make you better.

My view is, first you get them to laugh, then you get them to listen. So I’m always game for a good joke, and I’m not so formal in this role. There’s very little that we can’t do that people wouldn’t appreciate.

Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts … good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with.

I was loved dearly by my father but I was never so precious that he didn’t think that I could be in there right at the table.

Your siblings are the only people in the world who know what it’s like to have been brought up the way you were.

I know what it’s like to be married and to live in a house with a garden, but it’s not something I’m striving for at the moment.

I’ve been a loner all the time throughout my life… I haven’t been the best father… Many times… my children have accused me of not giving them enough attention. And, frankly, I never have been good at handling that.

When your children arrive, your heart becomes a room with wide open windows.

My father would always praise me. He always thought I was the smartest person

I’ve always wanted to be a mom at 23, 24ish, ever since I was a little girl. I’m right on schedule.

My father was a perfectionist. We had to hop to everything and have marvelous table manners. I could only wear navy blue and gray and white. He wanted me to be interested in tennis and horses just like a little princess, but I couldn’t stand such things.

I know some people say it’s not the best to work with your family, but I have never understood that because it’s always worked so well for me.

I learned another thing from the hurt my cousin gave me – never to give that kind of hurt to anyone else. My revenge was to change a bad feeling into a good one. If I’m working with you and I sense you’re feeling a little insecure, I try to make you feel great. That’s how I get rid of my old hurt. If I don’t do that, my hurt grows and makes me mean and vengeful. But if hurt can change to kindness – that’s something Mama showed me – the world becomes a little less cruel.

I have to be in tune with my husband, where he is, how he’s feeling. I have to be in tune with where my family is. The same thing is true in the work that I do. It’s all about me feeling where people are. So that’s why I try to be really present, even when I’m on a rope line. I never take for granted my interactions with people. And it’s never black-and-white. I’m usually reading the crowd, reading the people that I’m with. I guess if this role has changed me, it’s improved my ability to do that. I’ve gotten better at sensing where people are at any given time.

I learned more from my mother than from all the art historians and curators who have informed me about technical aspects of art history and art appreciation over the years.

You have to love your children unselfishly. That is hard. But it is the only way.

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

I had grown up without a father and that is why it was so important to me that my children would never be in need of anything.