Mark Twain

The lack of money is the root of all evils.

There is no such thing as the Queen’s English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!

It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way.

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.

Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.

A little philosophy inclineth man’s mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men’s minds about to religion.

Beauty is a short-lived tyranny.

There are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking; as there are fruits that are not good until they are rotten.

In art, the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can imagine.

People wish to be settled. It is only as far as they are unsettled that there is any hope for them.

The mark of the man of the world is absence of pretension. He does not make a speech; he takes a low business-tone, avoids all brag, is nobody, dresses plainly, promises not at all, performs much, speaks in monosyllables, hugs his fact. He calls his employment by its lowest name, and so takes from evil tongues their sharpest weapon. His conversation clings to the weather and the news, yet he allows himself to be surprised into thought, and the unlocking of his learning and philosophy.

Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.

Treating your adversary with respect is giving him an advantage to which he is not entitled.

To choose time is to save time.

By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfect man.

If a man is alive, there is always danger that he may die, though the danger must be allowed to be less in proportion as he is dead-and-alive to begin with. A man sits as many risks as he runs.

I gleaned jests at home from obsolete farces.

Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.

The mind is never satisfied with the objects immediately before it, but is always breaking away from the present moment, and losing itself in schemes of future felicity… The natural flights of the human mind are not from pleasure to pleasure, but from hope to hope.

In a battle all you need to make you fight is a little hot blood and the knowledge that it’s more dangerous to lose than to win.