Mark Twain

Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.

Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged only in private– though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh.

To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life;

Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like nobody is watching.

Classic – A book which people praise and don’t read.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

I have to plan my happiness. That’s the thing, we think happiness just happens and it can, but you’ve got to work in some happiness too.

Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won’t have to haunt for happiness

To fill the hour – that is happiness.

Relinquishing the delusional hope that we can or must be flawless allows us to seek happiness in the place it can be found: Our real, messy, imperfect experience

Happiness is not a goal…it’s a by-product of a life well lived.

They’ve got no idea what happiness is, they don’t know that without this love there is no happiness or unhappiness for us–there is no life.

When I hold you in my arms and I feel my finger on your trigger I know no one can do me no harm because happiness is a warm gun.

I’m always smiling and happy.

Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them.

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers, and are famous preservers of good looks.

We are long before we are convinced that happiness is never to be found, and each believes it possessed by others, to keep alive the hope of obtaining it for himself.

A lifetime of happiness? No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth.

Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.