Margaret Cho

If you’ve gone into a marriage and you haven’t been clear about how you’re going to handle money, how you want to raise kids, who is going to work or stay home or what have you, then you’ve set yourself up for failure.

Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it. It is unsuited to the drawing room, and in the most cultured society it has long been banished from the social board. It has at last, in our day of progress and improvement, been degraded to brotherhood with flatulence. Among the best bred, these two arts are now indulged only in private– though by consent of the whole company, when only males are present, it is still permissible, in good society, to remove the embargo on the fundamental sigh.

I think you have different soul mates throughout your life, that your soul needs different things at different times.

Women talk about stuff on the way to the valet that it takes men 10 years to admit to each other. The depth at which women talk to and about each other is invaluable to me. With your really, really close good friends you do that fast.

You know, it’s possible for two humans to be in a relationship without there needing to be some public reason for that relationship.

There has never been a merging of two lives where significant problems of daily living did not occur. One way or another, your relationship is going to be affected. The only question is how. There’s a big difference between knowing and doing. It’s not what happens between partners that determines the outcome of a relationship, it’s how they handle what happens. If all you deal with in your relationship is problems, then you will have a problem relationship. If you want your pound of flesh with full acknowledgement that you’re right, your future will be dim.

Do not just look at your boyfriend as just a boyfriend. Look at him as a friend, too.

I probably didn’t handle things as diplomatically as I should.

Strong relationships are the key.

Sometimes if you’re lucky, someone comes into your life who’ll take up a place in your heart that no one else can fill, someone who’s tighter than a twin, more with you than your own shadow, who gets deeper under your skin than your own blood and bones

If I don’t have friends, then I ain’t got nothing.

It is because I think so much of warm and sensitive hearts, that I would spare them from being wounded.

I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?

Good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt.

No one has done a study on this, as far as I can tell, but I think Facebook might be the first place where a large number of people have come out. We didn’t create that – society was generally ready for that. I think this is just part of the general trend that we talked about, about society being more open, and I think that’s good.