Groucho Marx

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

Money frees you from things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money comes in handy.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous. Hierarchical society is only possible on the basis of poverty and ignorance.

I think everyone has their own set of problems, and sometimes I feel I’m in the middle of the biggest challenge of my life just trying to maintain normalcy in a kind of crazy lifestyle.

Positive anything is better than negative thinking.

I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.

“He who angers you, conquers you.” – Elizabeth Kenny

Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth.

Mr. Sherlock Holmes, who was usually very late in the mornings, save upon those not infrequent occasions when he was up all night, was seated at the breakfast table.

This above all: to thine own self be true.

Don’t wait until you’re in a crisis to come up with a crisis plan.

The most you get is what you ask for.

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason.

All this is only for the mice and myself to admire!

Everyone makes mistakes. The wise are not people who never make mistakes, but those who forgive themselves and learn from their mistakes.

You learn from a conglomeration of the incredible past — whatever experience gotten in any way whatsoever.

I don’t like to read books. They muss up my mind.