George Bernard Shaw

A lifetime of happiness? No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth.

Reminiscences make one feel so deliciously aged and sad.

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.

The Jews generally give value. They make you pay; but they deliver the goods. In my experience the men who want something for nothing are invariably Christians.

Peace is not only better than war, but infinitely more arduous.

I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way: by getting out of it as soon as I possibly could.

He gains everyone’s approval who mixes the pleasant with the useful.

The masses have no habit of self reliance or original action.

People with great gifts are easy to find, but symmetrical and balanced ones never.

Them meaning of good and bad, of better and worse, is simply helping or hurting.

A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing.

Money and time are the heaviest burdens of life, and the unhappiest of all mortals are those who have more of either than they know how to use.

The dead should be judged like criminals, impartially, but they should be allowed the benefit of the doubt.

There are men whose manners have the same essential splendor as the simple and awful sculpture on the friezes of the Parthenon, and the remains of the earliest Greek art.

One merit of poetry few persons will deny: it says more and in fewer words than prose.

Many might go to Heaven with half the labor they go to hell.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment.

Of all debts men are least willing to pay the taxes. What a satire is this on government! Everywhere they think they get their moneys worth, except for these.

If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair.

In your Salvation shelter I saw poverty, misery, cold and hunger. You gave them bread and treacle and dreams of heaven. I give from thirty shillings a week to twelve thousand a year. They find their own dreams; but I look after the drainage.