George Bernard Shaw

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

The philosopher is Nature’s pilot. And there you have our difference: to be n hell is to drift: to be in heaven is to steer.

Though I can make my extravaganzas appear credible, I cannot make the truth appear so.

Youth is such a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

If all the economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.

Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.

The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money’s sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal.That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.

The success of great scholars and thinkers is commonly a courtier-like success, not kingly, not manly.

Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with new self-respect, with new power, and with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.

I find that the Americans have no passions, they have appetites.

To be furious in religion is to be irreligiously religious.

Work is life, you know, and without it, there’s nothing but fear and insecurity.

To accept some idea of truth without experiencing it is like a painting of a cake on paper which you can not eat.

Leave this hypocritical prating about the masses. Masses are rude, lame, unmade, pernicious in their demands and influence, and need not to be flattered, but to be schooled. I wish not to concede anything to them, but to tame, drill, divide, and break them up, and draw individuals out of them.

Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by poor dress.

True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information.

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.

To regret deeply is to live afresh.

Let us eat and drink neither forgetting death unduly nor remembering it. The Lord hath mercy on whom he will have mercy, etc., and the less we think about it the better.

To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.