David Geffen

I’m going to go down and take care of the bill. I’m not going to embarrass you, just let me do it. I had such a great time, I just want it to be my treat. [On returning after several minutes red faced] They won’t take my check, I don’t know what we’re going to do. [Robertson said ‘David, what we’ve spent here, we’re going to have to do a lot of dishes.’] I’m going to call Prince Rupert [Loewenstein] and ask him to call the hotel and tell them I’m good for it. Or maybe he can pay the bill and then I’ll pay him back or something. [Prince Rupert vouched for his credit and the hotel agreed to accept Geffen’s check.]

If you said you had homosexual tendencies they sent you to a psychiatrist.

It’s easy in music to tell what’s good. It’s hard to tell what’s bad.

[On school] Not only did I know that I wasn’t one of the smart kids in the class, but so did everyone else.

There are so many people who are trying to make it in the music business. It’s a very open business, more open I think than any other area of show business.

[On his donation of $100 million to UCLA in 2012 adding to the $200 million he donated in 2002] The cost of a world-class medical education should not deter our future innovators, doctors and scientists from the path they hope to pursue. We need the students at this world-class institution to be driven by determination and the desire to do their best work and not by the fear of crushing debt. I hope in doing this that others will be inspired to do the same.

I’ve got a terrible memory – I end up repeating myself quite a lot. The only thing I can remember is that I’m going to repeat myself!

Because if you do what you think is right for the benefit of everybody and everything and you make decisions, to go back and regret them afterwards-it’s a futile experience and it’s not worth thinking about. Because life just unfolds. Provided you do your best and you think you’re on the right track, you can only be right or wrong. But to regret it-I don’t think there are any huge errors or misdemeanors. You know, I should have hung out with Elvis a bit more.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

What good are fans? You can’t eat applause for breakfast. You can’t sleep with it.

Yeah, I do also think that by the time you are in your forties, what you want to wear and what you think is sexy is not always, like, for another person. It’s what makes you feel good…. Sexy is all relative.

If I could be anyone, I’d choose the lead singer of Arcade Fire, Win Butler.

Ahh, I’m from Canada so… no. I’m a Northern Belle.

As for my band, well, my mentors were Duke Ellington, Benny Goodman, Jimmie Lunceford, and no one had a band more smartly dressed than Duke.

I’m not going to have a baby until I’m around 30-something.

So when you get a chance to look at things and chill and relax, it makes you want it more, and that’s why I’m so happy to be back!

There’s something timeless and important about making people laugh, about being the right spot in their day.

I love hearing educated people talk and just shut everyone up. Knowledge is always the loudest voice.

That’s when I realized that as long as you don’t broadcast your beefs, you can get away cold with murder. It’s even better if you don’t allow the beef to take place. If someone disrespects you, you can know in your heard that you’re going to get him, but you don’t have to show him there’s a beef. You can just look at it like, Okay, this nigga must not know. And then you fall back and you put it down.

They said, ‘Well, it can be done, but we’ll have to do it a different way (rather than purchasing the series).’ So here we are.

I never get to go to movies, because I’m a mom.