Amy Schumer

It’s work having a vagina. Guys don’t think that it’s work but it is. You think it shows up like that to the event? It doesn’t. Every night it’s like getting it ready for its first Quinceanera, believe me.

I just love bossy women. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It mans somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind leading.

The difference between a broken community and a thriving one is the presence of women who are valued.

I have tremendous respect for women.

The sadness of the women’s movement is that they don’t allow the necessity of love. See, I don’t personally trust any revolution where love is not allowed.

If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights …

What gets me is how many women – young women – give up their power and their sense of self. Thinking they’re going to get more out of life if they take off their clothes and objectify themselves, instead of functioning on the principle that they’re smart and capable, that you can be an actress and not be on the covers of T&A magazines. I’m flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do that. It blows my mind.

It’s pretty clear that if men were having babies we’d have different policies.

We are a gorgeous, infinite circle of women all shades, all styles, in all the ways we were made. Inside of us everything blooms.

[My father] always reminded us that it was important to stand up for your rights, and regardless of who you are and where you come from, to hold your head up high with dignity and respect.

“From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents, from 18 to 35 she needs good looks, from 35 to 55 she needs a good personality, and from 55 on she needs cash.

The best thing you can do is to be a woman and stand before the world and speak your heart.

Girls should never be afraid to be smart.

A man told me that for a woman, I was very opinionated. I said ‘For a man, you’re kind of ignorant.

The argument that ‘boys will be boys’ actually carries the profoundly anti-male implication that we should expect bad behaviors from boys and men. The assumption is that they are somehow not capable of acting appropriately, or treating girls and women with respect.

Strong men, men who are truly role models, don’t need to put down women to make themselves feel powerful.