Tina Fey

I’m a big fan of ‘The Office’, both the British and the American versions.

A lot of times we talk about the politics of it, the unfairness of it, which is all true, but I think it’s clearer to people when you go, ‘Hey, that hurts my feelings.’

In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, ‘People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea’.

At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music.

I have a suspicion that the definition of ‘crazy’ in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f-ck her anymore. The only person I can think of that has escaped the ‘crazy’ moniker is Betty White, which, obviously, is because people still want to have sex with her.

I remember failing my Princeton interview. My mom wanted me to apply because ever since I was a kid she had this dream that I would apply to Princeton, but it was just not happening.

When I was a kid, I’d be there in the stands thinking: ‘Come on Wolves, do it for me!’….And here I am again: ‘Come on Wolves,’ pleading with a borrowed laptop!

These critics with the illusions they’ve created about artists – it’s like idol worship. They only like people when they’re on their way up… I cannot be on the way up again.

I don’t know how I feel right now.

The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two year suspension for a lawyer caught having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. Haha! Jokes on you, dummies…I’m not really a lawyer.

I’m probably the furthest from being romantic that you’ve ever seen; I’m not even close to being romantic in any way until I have to be.

[on his acting career] All the new people you meet, it’s pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.

One of my theories is that men love with their eyes; women love with their ears.

Being on tour is like being in limbo. It’s like going from nowhere to nowhere.

It’s the 2016 election, and it’s 2015 right now. So I don’t care until we’re in the same year as the thing that I’m supposed to care about.

Thanks jet lag it’s now 4am but I’m still in a 1pm body.

[on Popeye] If you watch it backwards, it has a plot.

I have a suspicion that the definition of ‘crazy’ in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to f-ck her anymore. The only person I can think of that has escaped the ‘crazy’ moniker is Betty White, which, obviously, is because people still want to have sex with her.

I actually love the audition process, so I’m so happy to fight for things. I would love to read something that I want to fight for, but lately the scripts are not that compelling.

It’s just such a tangled-up issue, the way women present themselves [in comedy]-whether or not they choose to put their thumbs in their panties on the cover of Maxim and judge each other back and forth on it. It’s a complicated issue, and we didn’t go much further on saying anything other than to say, ‘Yeah, it’s a complicated issue and we’re all kind of figuring it out as we go.’

I’ll be a nun, raise my daughter, and make albums.