David Alan Royster

There’s nothing more romantic than getting down in the dirt and plowing through the weeds, brambles, thickets, and dry land of life with someone just as willing by your side.

My father, soft as rainclouds, my mother, hard as hail, prepared me to take the world by storm.

Sometimes I feel like a kid wanting nothing more than to squeeze you tight and call you mine.

You first.’ The only way love works.

I have you in one world, but I need you in two: the hands and the heart, just one won’t do.

Only snails know there is no rush when you learn to carry home with you.

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears.

It’s very easy for me to thank everyone for the incredible contribution they’ve made to my life.

Dear Ladies: You should never need to prove to other women that he’s in love with you. That’s his job.

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don’t have sex-ever. Now that the milk is free, we’ve both become lactose intolerant.

Each man takes care that his neighbor shall not cheat him. But a day comes when he begins to care that he does not cheat his neighbor. Then all goes well — he has changed his market-cart into a chariot of the sun.

If I was your wife Sir, I’d poison you! Madam, if you were my wife, I’d let you!

A bond as important as that of a husband and wife, is the bond between siblings.

“They stood there pretending to be just friends when all the while everyone in the room could plainly see that they were only existing for each other.

I think that the fact that a relationship becomes public is a bit of a bummer. Because it can distract from the real reason why you’re together, which is that you just like each other.

I probably didn’t handle things as diplomatically as I should.

You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful – I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything….Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.

[a metaphor for the end of her marriage] The process of divorce is about loading a blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.

I guess I am just not the marrying type. I have given it a few chances, and it just goes haywire after a month or two. I am on wife number five right now, maybe five’s a charm?

I only f**k with people who are secure enough to be happy for me and hype me up. I don’t want any ‘friends’ who fall silent during my success.

Strong relationships are the key.