Groucho Marx

Money frees you from things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money comes in handy.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.

My philosophy is to have a really good time and never to let anything stop me from doing what I want to do.

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop.

I only ask to be free, the butterflies are free.

In order to succeed you must fail so you know what to do better the next time.

When people treat you mean, you dislike them for that, but not because of their person, who they are. I was born and raised in a segregated society, but when I left there, I had nobody I disliked other than the people that’d mistreated me, and that only lasted for as long as they were mistreating me.

I can only say that I have had a wonderful life.

Not everything I write will be a masterpiece; I know that. It is a process selecting words to convey feelings never meant to be spoken. So maybe I’ve been searching for what’s already been said and this is the finest way I can say it. I love you, in everything I am, I love you.

I have 100 percent Bronx pride like it’s a country like I AM the Bronx.

A person who trusts no one can’t be trusted.

The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well.

Silence is so accurate.

Life is trying things to see if they work.

A goal is a dream with a finish line.