Robert Pattinson

Up until I was 12 my sisters used to dress me up as a girl and introduce me as ‘Claudia’! Twelve was a turning point as I moved to a mixed school and then I became cool and discovered hair gel.

I started doing a paper round when I was about 10. I started earning £10 a week and then I was obsessed with earning money until I was about 15.

There were a couple of times where you think you’re swimming towards a guy with a breating apparatus and then you find its just some thing in the water and you’re like (imitates freaking out) and then you just know what to do and they film your stupid face just screaming underwater and then everyone starts laughing and its just like, ahh, great.

I think the most embarrassing part of that was just the normal dancing. When the rock band comes. I think there was two days where the crew was like, “Just dance, just dance.”. So, you can’t, in a club or whatever…That was really awkward.

If I could trade places with anyone in the world it would be with someone who has lots of power like George Bush.

That is quite difficult. In the book and also my first introduction of the script is like “an absurdly handsome 17-year-old” and it kind of puts you off a little bit, when you’re trying to act, and you’re trying to get good angles to look good looking and stuff.

A hundred and thirteen is a lot of tests. It’s approaching the amount that you’d ask your doctor for the morning after you woke up from a one-night stand with Colin Farrell.

Parisian men make love all day and have no time to work; American men work all day and have no time for love.

Well, I speak for my show only when I say we’re in debt to journalists because we’re just pulling clips all day long which they made in the first place. We know that a lot of people watching our show haven’t been watching the news as closely as we have – they haven’t been following hundreds of reporters on Twitter all day. So I guess our goal is to say: ‘Hey, here’s what happened today in 10 minutes, and hopefully we’ll tell you in a way that won’t make you throw your remote at the television’.

I forgot better shit than you ever thought of.

You know, people can’t fall in love with me just because I’m good at what I do.

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.

I’d make a better U.S. President than George W. Bush. Bush is an idiot. I’m a better public speaker than him. It makes you wonder about the voters.

People say that I’m a millionaire, but that’s not true – I only spend millions.

I still like to get carried away – but passively.

Do the NBC bigheads really pay attention to these message boards? Um, I don’t know if they read the message boards. I hope so, because I write fifty to a thousand fake posts a week, mostly, uh, saying that I’m really good and that no else is as good as me. So, I hope they listen to that because I’m trying to get a raise.

I don’t want to go to another rollercoaster ride of a movie. If I want that, I’ll go to Magic Mountain. I’m really interested in the young directors that are doing different things in cinema. I think the movies people will hold onto are the Rushmore (1998)s and the Being John Malkovich (1999)s. Those are the kind of films I want to do; that’s what I’m passionate about.

What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.

It’s nice having famous people love you.

I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.