George Bernard Shaw

The Jews generally give value. They make you pay; but they deliver the goods. In my experience the men who want something for nothing are invariably Christians.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.

The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.

Only on paper has humanity yet achieved glory, beauty, truth, knowledge, virtue, and abiding love.

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?

However small the chance might be of striking lucky, the chance is there. The chance had to be there.

It is the great privilege of poverty to be happy and yet unenvied, to be healthy with physic, secure without a guard, and to obtain from the bounty of nature what the great and wealthy are compelled to procure by the help of art.

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it.

A man’s action is only a picture book of his creed.

Wickedness is always easier than virtue, for it takes a short cut to everything.

I’m just preparing my impromptu remarks.

Life consists in what a person is thinking of all day.

It is generally known, that he who expects much will be often disappointed; yet disappointment seldom cures us of expectation, or has any effect other than that of producing a moral sentence or peevish exclamation.

People who can’t be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate.

It is one of the beautiful compensations in this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

Give me beauty in the inward soul; may the outward and the inward man be at one.

There is always room for a person of force and they make room for many.

Solitude is dangerous to reason, without being favorable to virtue. Remember that the solitary mortal is certainly luxurious, probably superstitious, and possibly mad.

His scorn of the great is repeated too often to be real; no man thinks much of that which he despises.