Robert Plant

I don’t think I’ve aged gracefully.

I’m pleased with how ridiculous I am. I like me. Though I’m not a huge fan. I know when to switch me off.

I’m always eager to return to the hospitality of the Southern states….Towns and cities that hold fond memories for me personally, places that gave birth to so much of the music I love.

I’m just incredibly fortunate that my eyes and ears have been opened. I have to be honest with myself and remove as much of the repetition and fakery as is humanly possible. To soothe the savage heart, we have to repeat ourselves sometimes – that’s entertainment.

In the middle of everything that I’ve done as a singer or as somebody who’s jumped on top of a few old books and turned ‘em into songs about hobbits f*cking vikings, I think I’ve danced a beautiful dance through it all, without becoming too much of a cliche. I’ve enjoyed the two-step. It’s brought me great gifts.

I used to be better looking than this.

Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise. Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised.

I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

Dictionary.com defines ‘Amy Poehler’ as ‘results not found. I take that as a testament to your uniqueness.’

I would say my number one tip is to know that it’s okay to be in love with yourself. That’s not a bad thing. People might think it’s cocky, or arrogant, or selfish – no, that’s not what that means. Being in love with yourself is okay.

I believe in large families. Every woman should have at least three husbands.

I could be walking down the street one minute and get a handshake and then get spat on the next. I’m never sure whether to wear gloves or a helmet.

I was born in ’74, so I missed out on all the great early ’60s and early ’70s.

I happen to be lucky in that I knew what I wanted to do as far as a career since I was nine years old.

Welcome to The Daily Show, I am John Oliver. And let’s just acknowledge for a moment that this is weird. This looks weird. It feels weird. It even sounds weird. It sounds weird to me and this is my actual voice.

I don’t enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don’t have that kind of ‘I love the bad guys’ thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

This heart of mine could never see what everybody knew but me

Do you know how much hate mail I’ve gotten from people who love Mario Kart? … In one day, I managed to ruin half of America’s childhood and mushroom farming everywhere.

And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, ’cause you can’t drink anymore. You can’t come home drunk and go, ‘Hey, here’s a little switch: Daddy’s gonna throw up on you!’

If my fans want to do something for me when that time comes, I say, don’t waste your money on me. Help the homeless. Help the needy… people who don’t have no food… Instead of some big funeral, where they come from here and there and all over. Save it.