I think; therefore I am.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Common sense is the best distributed thing in the world, for we all think we possess a good share of it.
Failure is no accident.
We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.
Smugglin’ that by me? That’s like tryin’ to smuggle sunrise past a rooster.
Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice.
Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
I have some wonderful friends from the Mideast that are as red, white and blue as anybody you know, that have been harassed, and I think it’s a terrible, terrible thing.
A person who trusts no one can’t be trusted.
I’m the one that has to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to.
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
A man can’t ‘just be friends’ with another woman. Period.
I think you’re running into a lot of trouble if your idea of foreplay is, ‘Brace yourself honey, here I come!’
The problem is that for women, the average time is just over 14 minutes… men are left with about 12 minutes during which time they need to think of something to do!
I don’t follow what everybody else does.
I know the look of an apple that is roasting and sizzling on the hearth on a winter’s evening, and I know the comfort that comes of eating it hot, along with some sugar and a drench of cream… I know how the nuts taken in conjunction with winter apples, cider, and doughnuts, make old people’s tales and old jokes sound fresh and crisp and enchanting.
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
