Animals are my friends… and I don’t eat my friends.
Every person who has mastered a profession is a skeptic concerning it.
I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
Independence? That’s middle class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.
Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty; what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness.
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.
The thought of two thousand people crunching celery at the same time horrified me.
The philosopher is Nature’s pilot. And there you have our difference: to be n hell is to drift: to be in heaven is to steer.
There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses.
Hell is paved with good intentions, not with bad ones. All men mean well.
You cannot be a hero without being a coward.
I never thought much of the courage of a lion tamer. Inside the cage he is at least safe from people.
If you can’t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you’d best teach it to dance.
Give a man health and a course to steer, and he’ll never stop to trouble about whether he’s happy or not.
No man can be a pure specialist without being in the strict sense an idiot.
If you strike a child, take care that you strike it in anger, even at the risk of maiming it for life. A blow in cold blood neither can nor should be forgiven.
The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office.
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
Only on paper has humanity yet achieved glory, beauty, truth, knowledge, virtue, and abiding love.
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
How can you dare teach a man to read until you’ve taught him everything else first?
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