Robbie Williams

I’m off everything apart from the fags and the coffee. I don’t know if it’s worked. It works up until you take your first drink.

Some of the best times in my life happened under the influence of drugs… I’d still be doing it if I could make good judgement calls. I’d still be doing it if I didn’t blow up to the size of an aircraft hangar, because it was a great time.

To be honest, I don’t want No. 1’s anymore. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind the odd few, but I’d also like a record going in at eight and staying around.

There’s no point regretting things. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. Life’s too short to worry about things I’ve said.

I’m not a musician, I’m an entertainer.

I’ve deliberately tried to calm myself down because eventually I want to be a good role model to my kids.

Most of the time, people will just pass me by, or if they do realize, they’ll say something like, “My girlfriend said that was you, but I didn’t believe her.”

Abstaining from sex had to zen my body. I ain’t giving, so don’t ask, I don’t lend my body. He gotta be king status to get in my body.

I definitely felt like I needed a break, because when you do so much, you’re not able to appreciate the things that you accomplish.

I wanted to be in a band that shared ideas and were in it together.

At least when the race starts he knows where they’re all at, ’cause they’re in front of him. Better to do it today than tomorrow.

I always said marriage should be a fifty-fifty proposition. He should be at least fifty years old, and have at least fifty-million dollars.

The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30.

When I was a question on Jeopardy!, that’s when I felt famous!

Do your thing and don’t care if they don’t like it.

The day of the Christmas Card shoot was wild! No one would get it together so we couldn’t get a full card!

Netflix is like sitting at the cool kids’ table. Netflix is amazing. We’re the biggest fans of not only working there but of the company in general.

I’m speaking for all of us. I’m the spokesman for a generation.

Trump’s presidency is like one of his handshakes: it pulls you in whether you like it or not.

In the last series, we set up a church [to expose televangelists and the ease of avoiding tax through establishing a religious organisation]. It took a lot of legal advice and months of gathering correspondence with one pastor. In terms of the UK, I’m not sure what the Inland Revenue’s position on churches is. The IRS is very much of the opinion that all churches, whatever their form, operate tax free. How would I make sense of what we achieved? We achieved nothing! We achieved $70,000 in single [donations], a four-foot wooden penis and five vials of human sperm. Although a lot of people would consider that a decent year’s work, I suppose. It’s a pretty impressive room full of tat.

If we don’t get actively involved to at least mitigate Trump’s damage, things will not be OK. And yes, the sun will rise each day, but the continuing rotation of the earth should not be your baseline expectation of American society.