Tina Fey

I really wasn’t heavy in high school. But no one feels right in their own skin, particularly in high school.

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

I’m more of a writer than an actor, and I used to say that I’m mostly an improviser, though I haven’t improvised in awhile.

I don’t want to be somebody else.

Make Statements also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.

I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior.

They (Barnes Theatre Club) were a very good group, and for some reason when I finished the backstage thing, I just decided to that I should try to act. So I auditioned for Guys and Dolls and got a little tiny part as some Cuban dancer or something and then in the next play I got the lead part, and then I got my agent. So I owe everything to that little club.

We’re not going out there with somebody pretending to be Freddie Mercury. We are what we are now; we’re not what we were then, we’re just going out, playing our songs.

You don’t just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at ‘SNL’ is writing to go after someone.

There are things that I do that feminists don’t like, and there are things that I do that they do like. I don’t label myself.

[on Stephen Merchant] He’s eight foot tall, has stupid glasses, awful hair, but it makes me look good, which is why he’s in the series. We look so strange on screen together as well. The height difference is ridiculous. I want people to know that he is a freak and I’m the normal one. Don’t look at this and go, ‘What? Didn’t know Ricky was a dwarf.’ I’m not. He’s the weird one.

We are trying to communicate a fulfilled ideal. Does anybody remember laughter?

I’m quite sarcastic, and I’m funny, but not kind of funny. It’s a weird funny, and some people don’t get me, and some people do.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. About comic lines written by Mark Shaiman being removed for innuendo (i.e. Chip ‘n Dale are both strippers”) the week before for his presenting of Best Animated Film at the 77th Academy Awards: “For a while you get mad, then you get over it. They’re afraid of saying Olive Oyl is anorexic. It tells you about the state of humor. It’s strange to think: how afraid are you? We thought that they got the irony of it. I guess not.”

[on Brad Pitt] I don’t know… I guess…. he’s a nice person and a GOOD kisser!

We drove for the sheer fun of driving because there wasn’t that much money to be made.

I know without our fans and the devotion of our fans we wouldn’t be here. I don’t mean to put them down, but I’m just stating a fact that it is hard to play to people that see you all the time and it takes a lot of fun out of it in some ways.

Contrary to popular myth, I didn’t just hatch out of an eagle’s nest, circa One Million Years B.C., clad in a doe-skin bikini. In fact, I was more surprised than anyone to find myself on location in such an exotic setting, high atop a volcanic mountain in the Canary Islands! With the release of that famous movie poster, in one fell swoop, everything in my life changed and everything about the real me was swept away. All else would be eclipsed by this bigger-than-life sex symbol.

I still like to get carried away – but passively.

[On Joni Mitchell] If I didn’t talk to her for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t miss her for a minute.

[On struggling to be taken seriously in the industry] Even now, people want to marginalize me. They want to attribute all my success to teenagers seeing my movies. I really resent it when people say, “It’s just a genre film; it’s a teen comedy.” It takes a lot of work to make these things have heart and resonance so they’re not just empty, disposable confections. But I don’t give a damn about other people’s perceptions, because I’ll show them. For women in this business, ascendancy is always a battle. It’s scrape and claw. I just try to stick to my guns and respect myself. I want to take the ingenues aside and say, “Value yourself! It’s O.K. if you have opinions!