Tina Fey

If I have to listen to one more grey faced man with a $2 hair cut explain to me what rape is, I’m going to lose my mind.

It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good.

I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet.

When it’s not your gig, you’re like, ‘I’m just gonna go to bed!’

If you’re an actor and you don’t get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.

We’re all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn’t let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn’t let us watch ‘The Flintstones’ if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of ‘The Honeymooners’. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old ‘Honeymooners’.

Do I love the road? Honestly? No – but it’s how I earn my living. I also don’t have the blues, like it’s some kind of fever. The blues is my job. It’s what I do.

I’m a bit hesitant to do anything because I’m actually kind of lazy and I’d like an easier life from now on. The world’s a massive place with lots of early mornings and late starts when you’re working.

I believe in large families. Every woman should have at least three husbands.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Who on Barbie D? Who on Barbie D?

Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says ‘I don’t give a royal s**t.’

You can sometimes get your own feelings across more strongly if you pretend that you’re singing it from someone else’s angle. But it’s always from me. It’s just a new way of framing it.

There is no such thing as ugly. That’s a word that doesn’t really enter my vocabulary. If there’s any definition to being perfect, you’re perfect at being yourself.

This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in 10,000 pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over 14,000 dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

Payday loans are like the Lay’s Potato Chips of finance. You can’t have just one and they’re terrible for you.

At the end of the day, I just do my job. I love my art. But I genuinely want to change the world. I’m very generous, and I really want people to see that I am – that’s really it.

It’s been quite a journey. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!

I might get mad all over again watching our premiere.

Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show…called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.

Music is passionate. It’s love for me.