Seth Meyers

Well, I speak for my show only when I say we’re in debt to journalists because we’re just pulling clips all day long which they made in the first place. We know that a lot of people watching our show haven’t been watching the news as closely as we have – they haven’t been following hundreds of reporters on Twitter all day. So I guess our goal is to say: ‘Hey, here’s what happened today in 10 minutes, and hopefully we’ll tell you in a way that won’t make you throw your remote at the television’.

I feel like everyone you mentioned owes an enormous debt to Jon Stewart’s Daily Show, because I think that started this trend of people having talkshows where they have a point of view that they’re not afraid to share.

I couldn’t have asked for a better target than Trump

Even in 2008 – which was probably the most exciting political cycle I experienced while at SNL – there was a sense of a hangover afterwards. But this time, it has been relentless, and we’re only relentless in what we’re doing because [the Trump administration is] so relentless in what they’re doing. So this is all a reactive relentlessness.

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.

Keep in mind that most men like to pursue and win you. Don’t rob him of the enjoyment of doing that. When it comes to dressing to go out, it’s been my experience that guys prefer to think that the object of their affection is someone exclusive who isn’t available to everyone in the room. You’re clever enough to strike the right balance between hot and classy, aren’t you? Turn up the heat, but don’t invite the whole fire department.

This heart of mine could never see what everybody knew but me

Even when you know you want to do something, know that it will be good for you, that you’ll enjoy [performing] when you’re doing it, the anxiety is telling you a different story. It’s a constant battle within yourself.

The older you get the more capable you get at managing life.

For anyone who feels the need to hate, just know I’m looking at my phone like #GirlBye!

I didn’t think my career would last this long, and it’s still going.

I just asked her to support me in this one thing. It’s not a big lie. She should have understood that I was just trying to sell the song to America’s premier songstress.

Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show…called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.

I couldn’t live without my music, man. Or me mum.

I hope im not that close to my character, I hate him, I used to hate everbody like Cedric in my school.

The mind is an erogenous zone.

As a 29-year-old, the only thing that I can possibly think is that if I’m still performing at 50, it’s because I’ll have had disastrous marriages and I have to pay for them.

I think they want to keep it separate, but I’ve never been a crossover artist for some reason.

Apparently, I don’t know if this is true but I hope it is, I’ve heard it from a few reports, when we went up to get our awards apparently Clint Eastwood turned to someone that he was with and went, (Clint impression) ‘Who the f**k are they?’