Robin Williams

Cocaine is God’s way of saying that you’re making too much money.

[to troops in Iraq] I’m looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I’m telling myself ‘if you’re not funny, it’s a problem’

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. About comic lines written by Mark Shaiman being removed for innuendo (i.e. Chip ‘n Dale are both strippers”) the week before for his presenting of Best Animated Film at the 77th Academy Awards: “For a while you get mad, then you get over it. They’re afraid of saying Olive Oyl is anorexic. It tells you about the state of humor. It’s strange to think: how afraid are you? We thought that they got the irony of it. I guess not.”

(While accepting the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Good Will Hunting) Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, ‘Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.’

God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at once.

I’m always eager to return to the hospitality of the Southern states….Towns and cities that hold fond memories for me personally, places that gave birth to so much of the music I love.

All the boys did real good for their first time out. You couldn’t ask for any better. We’ve got a few bugs to work out, but that’s what this was for. We’re going to keep practicing and get better.

Thats the worst thing, I dont really care if people say I’m a bad actor, I can like work on that, but if they just say that he’s ugly thats just like “oh.. really?”

It’s important to raise your voice in things you feel passionate about and things that you know about. Don’t raise your voice just to raise your voice if you have nothing behind it and don’t know what you’re talking about.

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

Here’s a question for you women out there: Can every man you fancy fit into your life with its professional and private commitments? Or is he going to upset the apple cart and destroy the balance of things? Sound selfish? Maybe. But it’s a reality. Is this romantic liaison going to prove to be a positive or destructive influence in your life? And most important of all, is he absolutely worth it?

I guess I was a floater, but not really. I don’t know. I didn’t get high school.

I cried, I was so overwhelmed to meet Michael Jackson.

If I say a rap and I laugh, that means it’s a winner.

What’s that line from TS Eliot? To arrive at the place where you started, but to know it for the first time. I’m able to write about a breakup from a different place. Same brokenness. Same rock-bottom. But a little more informed, now I’m older. Thank God for growing up.

Starting a new studio was a thrilling challenge, but it was more stressful than fun. I never took a salary, a bonus or expenses. I learned never to do anything you’re not passionate about.

I have talked to Debbie Hammond quite a bit, Jim Hammond’s wife, his widow. I’ve seen their kids. And last time we played Dallas, a lot of them came over. It’s hard for them to come see the show. It’s still hard.

But I love to entertain. My vocation is to accrue all these experiences, to write about them, to get them out of my system, to not get sick, and then to share them publicly.

[after naked photos leaked] I want to apologise to my fans, whose support and trust means the world to me. “I am embarrassed over this situation and regret having ever taken these photos. I am thankful for the support of my family and friends.

I’m speaking for all of us. I’m the spokesman for a generation.