Robbie Williams

I’m off everything apart from the fags and the coffee. I don’t know if it’s worked. It works up until you take your first drink.

I’ve been watching what I eat. When I was putting on all the weight, I was drinking Guinness and not eating. I didn’t have room to because I was drinking all the time.

Some of the best times in my life happened under the influence of drugs… I’d still be doing it if I could make good judgement calls. I’d still be doing it if I didn’t blow up to the size of an aircraft hangar, because it was a great time.

I’m a bit hesitant to do anything because I’m actually kind of lazy and I’d like an easier life from now on. The world’s a massive place with lots of early mornings and late starts when you’re working.

As a 29-year-old, the only thing that I can possibly think is that if I’m still performing at 50, it’s because I’ll have had disastrous marriages and I have to pay for them.

I’ve got this brilliant thing where I go, “I’m Robbie Williams”, and people are interested in what I want to say – which is amazing because I’m just an idiot from Stoke-on-Trent.

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

I’m not worried about legacy. I don’t even know what that actually means. I don’t think anyone knows. I hope at some point in my career when my name is mentioned, someone will say “Oh yeah he has a good song!” I’d be happy with that.

At this time when I turn 50, because so there’s many of my friends and family who didn’t get to see 50-years-old, and so, I’m celebrating for them too.

I’m just chatty. But I do express my opinion.

I’ve got this brilliant thing where I go, “I’m Robbie Williams”, and people are interested in what I want to say – which is amazing because I’m just an idiot from Stoke-on-Trent.

Because I talk so much shit they give me overcredit just to shut me up!

Does anyone remember laughter?

So, uh, get ready for a barely changed version of Obamacare called Trumpcare, which sounds like a health care plan where doctors feel your breasts for lumps whether you ask them to or not.

This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!

People today are still living off the table scraps of the sixties. They are still being passed around – the music and the ideas.

The past is a stepping stone, not a millstone.

I think it’s a responsibility, but like Tupac Shakur, I’m a real model. Which means: I’m not pretending to be something that I’m not, because like he said, people are going to be disappointed when they find out who you are, because it’s not going to be what you presented to the world. So just keep it real. I’m a good kid and that’s all.

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

We (pop stars) are people not androids. We’ve got views. I’ve got opinions and I don’t see why I shouldn’t use a bit of my art to put them over. I think music is one of the most powerful media forces in the world today.

There’s no point regretting things. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. Life’s too short to worry about things I’ve said.