I have plenty of pet hates. I can’t stand people scraping their plate or slurping their soup. I can’t stand waiting in lines. I hate people talking inanely about the Lord Of The Rings. I hate people whistling. But I’m not like this because I’m famous. I’ve always been a grumpy bastard.
More quotes by Ricky Gervais
[On Lord Of The Rings] I don’t like all this stupid Gollum begat Wobblo and the Oompa Loompas and…Oh Jesus Christ! There was too much “Oh, God, here come the gloodloys…” Christ Almighty, what are they talking about!?
I’ve been offered a part in Alias and I’m going to do it. I love Alias, it’s great and JJ Abrams is writing me a part especially. It’s just whether I can do it or not – it’s got to be the right time, the right project, it’s got to be fun, it’s got to be worth it and it mustn’t be bad for my career. Most people go ‘it’ll do, it’s work and it’ll make me a bit more famous’ or ‘the money’s good’ but I just think I’ve never regretted saying no. But a lot of people have regretted saying yes.
[about the showbiz lifestyle] It’s all too much trouble for me. It’s probably because I’m fat and lazy and old.
We’re still trying to break records on the twentieth anniversary of Live Aid. I’ve just heard Bob Geldof has put Phil Collins on a jet to Philadelphia. There’s nothing going on there, we just don’t want him around this year. No I’m joking, of course we didn’t put him on a jet. We stuck him in a catapult. To be fair, he didn’t get very far. Although it worked in rehearsals when we used it on Chris De Burgh. I could do a whole routine about injuring Phil f**king Collins.
[on animals] When I see a toreador in a bullfight getting gored I think: ‘Good, you shouldn’t be in there’. What is the pleasure in seeing an animal speared to death? It’s the same with fox hunting. They’re just psychopaths. I think I’ll end up doing something with animals – running a sanctuary or something.
More quotes about Entertainment
I’m probably the furthest from being romantic that you’ve ever seen; I’m not even close to being romantic in any way until I have to be.
If I could trade places with anyone in the world it would be with someone who has lots of power like George Bush.
If you are someone, you know, with fame, whatever amount, it’s good to be married to someone who’s not impressed with that at all.
You don’t need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking: Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ or Do owls exist?’ or Are there hats?’
[on Ryan Phillippe] I’m lucky to find a person to share my life, and the best friend I’ll ever have.
And you know, life is a constant learning experience. I learn so much with my kids. I read tons of books and study what they’re studying.
What is really important for a woman, you know, even more than being beautiful or intelligent, is to be entertaining.
If I had to describe (the past ten years) I would say blessed’. Blessed and highly favoured, because the things that have happened to me have been once in a lifetime.