Mark Twain

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman’s construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse with the other sex sexually, at any time of life. During twenty-three days in every month (in the absence of pregnancy) from the time a woman is seven years old till she dies of old age, she is ready for action, and competent. As competent as the candlestick is to receive the candle. Competent every day, competent every night. Also, she wants that candle – yearns for it, longs for it, hankers after it, as commanded by the law of God in her heart.

It isn’t safe to sit in judgment upon another person’s illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Eating is touch carried to the bitter end.

Preparing food is not just about yourself and others. It is about everything!

Chocolate makes everyone smile – even bankers.

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

I don’t go long without eating. I never starve myself: I grab a healthy snack.

I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.

Together, we can help make sure that every family that walks into a restaurant can make an easy, healthy choice.

I go to McDonald’s every day. But I don’t eat much.

The only meat I eat is from animals I’ve killed myself.

No eggs, no omelette. And it depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket, you have eggs class one, class two, class three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.

American food is too dry! I need myself some proper Chinese soup like right now.

I am vegetarian. I became one at 20 when I was working in a pig farm. I got attached to the pigs and I couldn’t stand the thought that they would have to go off to be slaughtered.

A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place.