Mark Twain

Never put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after tomorrow.

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.

I never could keep a promise. I do not blame myself for this weakness, because the fault must lie in my physical organization. It is likely that such a very liberal amount of space was given to the organ which enables me to make promises that the organ which should enable me to keep them was crowded out. But I grieve not. I like no half-way things. I had rather have one faculty nobly developed than two faculties of mere ordinary capacity.

I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one’s clothes.

I’m slipping. I’m made of departed dreams and a stubborn fog that feels nothing like a veil.

People will try to fix world but world will fix people.

It is the mind that makes good or ill. That which makes us happy or sad; rich or poor.

People living deeply have no fear of death.

I can only say that I have had a wonderful life.

You must learn that you do not have to be angry just because you have the right to be.

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.

The remains of the old must be decently laid away; the path of the new prepared. That is the difference between Revolution and Progress.

Freedom of speech does not protect you from the consequences of saying stupid shit

For a year, I had all sorts of weirdos coming on to me.

The ‘B’ stands for whatever, depending on the day…beautiful or bully

Isn’t it amazing how easily you can cheat yourself out of the right choices by convincing yourself that you “deserve” the wrong ones? It’s highly illogical when you think about it. You deserve a better life, you deserve better health, and you deserve to lose weight.

You gotta have a dream. If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true?

When people believe in boundaries, they become part of them.