Mark Twain

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.

What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one’s self-approval.

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

It is at our mother’s knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals, but there is seldom any money in them.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

The reason that fiction is more interesting than any other form of literature, to those who really like to study people, is that in fiction the author can really tell the truth without humiliating himself.

The only sin that we never forgive in each other is a difference in opinion.

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Sometimes the place you are used to is not the place you belong.

What a lot of things there are a man can do without.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size But when I start to tell them, They think I’m telling lies. I say, It’s in the reach of my arms The span of my hips, The stride of my step, The curl of my lips. I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.

It is a wise tune that knows its own father, and I like my music to be the legitimate offspring of respectable parents.

Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.

I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.

If a better system is thine, impart it; if not, make use of mine.

Whenever you wish to do anything against the law, Cicely, always consult a good solicitor first.

Being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.

I have had to learn that my voice has value. And if I don’t use it, what’s the point of being in the room?