Mark Twain

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself.

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.

The only traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy and the lash.

Thus, then, on the night of the tenth of May, at the outset of this mighty battle, I acquired the chief power in the State, which henceforth I wielded in ever-growing measure for five years and three months of world war, at the end of which time, all our enemies having surrendered unconditionally or being about to do so, I was immediately dismissed by the British electorate from all further conduct of their affairs.

[John McCain is]… not a war hero. He’s a war hero – he’s a war hero ’cause he was captured. I Like people that weren’t captured, OK, I hate to tell you.

The strongest of all warriors are these two – Time and Patience.

A shadow has fallen upon the scenes so lately lighted by the Allied victory. From Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic, an iron curtain has descended across the Continent.

War is not a matter for the professional pacifist or militarist. It is for the unprofessional people. They finance and fight it, they bear its losses. Therefore, they should have the deciding voice concerning it. To do this, they require all the information upon which decisions are made. They should know in a difference, whether it is soluble by rational intelligence, or inevitable by force. Not once in a thousand instances would our people (this may not be true of all peoples, however) approve an offensive war. Never would they be lax in defensive action. For this is their country. However, most of their enemies are within it.

What is human warfare but just this; an effort to make the laws of God and nature take sides with one party.

You don’t win wars by dying for your country you win wars by making the other son of a b*tch die for his.

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.

Buck did not read the newspapers, or he would have known that trouble was brewing, not alone for himself, but for every tide-water dog, strong of muscle and with warm, long hair, from Puget Sound to San Diego.

I have a deep sympathy with war, it so apes the gait and bearing of the soul.

On the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that on other days, on other fields will bear the fruits of victory.

It is a sweet and seemly thing to die for one’s country.

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.