Mark Twain

If you eat a frog first thing in the morning, the rest of your day will be wonderful.

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

By common consent of all the nations and all the ages the most valuable thing in this world is the homage of men, whether deserved or undeserved.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct – nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world is grievously given to lying.

The number one need in all people is the need for acceptance, the need to experience a sense of belonging to something and someone. The need for acceptance is more powerful in your family than anywhere else…. If that need is not met by your family, trust me, your kids will go elsewhere to seek it in order to find approval and acceptance.

Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.

You never miss what you’ve never had. I never had any other life. I didn’t know any other life.

I haven’t put a pencil to a piece of paper, working out a problem, in years; I do it in my head.

Most of the sickness in the world is caused by eating too much.

I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

You are only as happy as your saddest child.

No matter how carefully and assiduously and how deeply you bury shit, the American public will find it and buy it in large quantity, It’s true, absolutely true.

I am from the planet of elegance.

If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.

With all the wealth of the world at hand, there are human beings who hunger, whole nations who suffer cold. The judgment for this condition, for misusing Nature’s gifts, is the judgment upon man’s failure, man’s unsteadiness. Leadership is the thing.

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.

Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.