John Oliver

[reacting to George Zimmerman’s acquittal] I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.

Welcome to The Daily Show, I am John Oliver. And let’s just acknowledge for a moment that this is weird. This looks weird. It feels weird. It even sounds weird. It sounds weird to me and this is my actual voice.

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley – the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you’re in your Vegas years. You’ve squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you’re wheezing your way through ‘Love Me Tender’ and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you’re still the King.

Elections: the only excuse for a grown man to kiss a stranger’s baby and not have the cops called.

D.C. went under federal control in 1801 and it wasn’t until the 1960s that D.C.’s then three quarters of a million citizens, mostly African American, were given even the most basic electoral rights … With that level of restriction the mayor of D.C. gets to run the city the way a school council president gets to run her high school.

Any single part of Brexit is a mountainous task and that is before you get to the tiny little bits that you understand that we haven’t even thought might be a problem. John Oliver

[On his favourite scene from “New Moon”] The Volterra scene, where I have to step into the light. There were many extras and many fans there. Some fans travelled across the world to be there. I felt a huge sense of responsibility, being in front of so many that are so obsessed with this story. It was nerve wrecking, but I never felt closer to the character before this.

I’m often mistaken for Spanish or Latin descent.

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

I didn’t know how to throw a punch – why would I? Who knows how to throw a punch? Now I do it all the time, and it makes me feel strong.

I think everyone’s intentions are to become a performer at first. But by the time I was in high school and college, I discovered that I liked writing and that I was probably a little better at it.

I keep forgetting I’m speaking in an American accent sometimes. The dangerous thing is that you end up forgetting what your real accent is after a while! It’s really strange; I’ve never done a job in an American accent before.

We’re ride or die. But I don’t accept the way we criticize and judge each other anymore. My personal growth doesn’t allow it.

I don’t know if it was much of an interview. We just shot the breeze.

I’m quite obviously not the world’s most handsome man – I’m the second world’s most handsome man!

Everything we do needs to be exceptional – if it’s not exceptional we don’t put it out there, because the biggest high for us is when we read comments from our customers saying that they can’t live without them.

[on her parents] They’re very harsh critics and they’ve often said to me: “That was shit, you were crap’, but this is the first time (after he saw her as “Amy Foster” on Swept from the Sea) my father said to me: ‘I think one day you’ll be a good actress”!

[on High School Musical] It’s hard to find people you are very close to and can relate to, but with this movie we really did bond. I felt very blessed for that.

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley – the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you’re in your Vegas years. You’ve squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you’re wheezing your way through ‘Love Me Tender’ and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you’re still the King.

I’ve watched the Emmys for almost my whole life, so it was crazy to finally be there in the audience clapping and actually going on stage. Hopefully one day I’ll get to be actually nominated.

I’m really, really enjoying myself, I seem to have a lot of purpose in my life. I’m enjoying what I’m doing, you know, and people are liking it. So, it’s great, you know.